Should I avoid flying if I’m afraid?

• Avoiding flying can help to reinforce that flying is scary, dangerous and something to be avoided (when it isn’t)
• Not going on a flight can make it harder to fly in the future
• While flying with anxiety can be tough, most anxious flyers are glad they did – rather than miss out on new experiences like international travel

I don’t want to fly…

Avoiding flying because you’re afraid may seem a logical response but it can actually create more anxiety in the long term, psychologists have found. Instead of finding ways to control your fear or phobia, you’re letting it control you – and it may not want to relinquish its grip. 

Every time you avoid a flight, you reinforce the belief that flying is dangerous and something to be afraid of.

We’re not here to force you to fly, but we know that many fearful flyers want to find ways to step on the plane and experience the joys of air travel. 

Why avoiding flying entrenches fear

Avoiding flying is what psychologists call a “maladaptive behavioral response”. Instead of facing your fear, you look for a way to escape. This may be avoiding air travel, booking and then cancelling flights, or – in extreme circumstances – falling to board a flight at the airport.

When you book a flight, you commit yourself to an act in the future. For some, this can cause significant anticipatory anxiety that begins the moment you book and reaches a peak in the days, hours and minutes leading up to a flight. 

Avoiding flying can restore control, creating a wave of relief – but this is temporary. Doing so can lead to feelings of shame and depression, says Anxiety UK.

Exercising control in such a limited way can increase anxiety, becoming a vicious circle. 

Every time you avoid a flight, for whatever reason, you perpetuate the belief that flying is unsafe, dangerous and should be avoided.

Over time, a fear of flying can become aviophobia. This can be exacerbated by other factors, including hearing about other people’s stressful flights, media coverage of turbulence events or crashes, and stress and anxiety in other areas of your life.

Should I fly even though I’m afraid?

It’s important to understand that avoiding flying can make your fear of flying worse. Doing so can make a fear become a phobia, which may require more involved treatment from a professional.

We’re all different and, as this fascinating case study shows, ways to tackle fear of flying should be patient-centred and personalised.

We can’t, and won’t, tell you what to do, but there is help available, including:

• Education: Flying is incredibly safe and understanding how planes work, how they glide and why turbulence isn’t a problem can help some people.
• Self help: Breathing, grounding and mindfulness exercises can all help you to control your body and mind. For some of us, learning to accept anxiety and face it head on, can be powerful. Start by downloading our Calm Flight Toolkit.
• Airline-organised ‘fear of flying’ courses: You can sign up to a course where you’ll receive a combination of information and tools alongside a real flight. These can be expensive, but many people have benefitted from them. (We’re hoping to do a detailed review of each course in the future!)
• Virtual reality therapy: Working with a trained therapist, you can use VR tools to simulate every stage of the flight – including turbulence. Over time, this can break down your fears.
• Exposure therapy: Exposure therapy can help you to break down your fears in stages. Each time you’re exposed a little more to what makes you afraid, reducing your overall anxiety. This can be managed on the ground (with a professional) or can even happen in the air – as part of a fear of flying course or other structured plan.
• Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy for fear of flying isn’t supported by a huge evidence base, but can be effective for some people, resarch suggests.
• Professional counselling & therapy: If your fear of flying is severe, you might benefit from the help of a professional. There are several approaches and it’s important you find a counselling approach and therapist that you can work with. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) having a particularly strong evidence base to support it. 

Some people use medication to help them gain the confidence to fly. We’re not medical professionals and can offer no guidance here, but in the UK (where we are based) doctors no longer prescribe medications for aviophobia. 

Whatever course of action you take, you’re making a bold and positive step toward a better future where you have the confidence to fly.

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