- Telling your friend you’re a nervous flyer can stir up lots of emotions
- Admitting you’re afraid of flying isn’t a show of weakness, but of strength – showing you’re dealing with the problem
- Your family member ot friend won’t judge you (they may also be a nervous flyer!)
Why sharing helps
A problem shared is a problem halved, goes the old saying. Admitting a fear of flying to a friend or loved one can be tough, because it shows you’re vulnerable.
A third of people are afraid to talk about their mental health, says mental health charity MIND. Why? Because we’re afraid of being judged, stigmatised or find such conversations awkward.
Opening up to a trusted person about your aviophobia is the first step to getting a little more support, giving you more confidence to fly with calm – and we’ll show you how.
What to tell them
You’re the expert on your friendships and relationships, but honesty is the best policy. Explain to the person you want to share something with them and that you’d like them to listen, not provide solutions.
Experts recommend that you start with short, simple and clear statements about how you feel. If you find it hard to express yourself, you can write your feelings down and share those.
Your feelings are real and you don’t need to explain them or rationalise them.
You can choose to discuss your fears and share more, but you don’t need to. Admitting a fear or phobia can be tough, so take it in stages.
Don’t feel the need to over-explain or trivialise your fear. This won’t help you or your friend.
When to tell them
Telling someone you’re afraid at the airport or, even worse, when you sit down on a plane isn’t ideal.
Instead, you’ll want to have an open and honest conversation somewhere you feel emotionally safe. This could be in-person or online. It could be at home, in a cafe or a restaurant.
Find somewhere that you feel relaxed and ready to talk.
If you’re going to fly with the person, it’s worth chatting about your fear at least a few weeks before your trip. This can give them the chance to understand your anxiety and prepare themselves to provide support (if that’s what you want).
If you’re not flying with the person, but simply want to share your fears then you can do this anytime. Again, find somewhere safe and relaxing where you feel comfortable talking.
Explain what support you want (and what you don’t)
Sharing your feelings around flying takes confidence. Think about what support you want or if you want any at all and communicate this.
While some people will listen to you without judgement, others may attempt to provide solutions. While well meaning, this may not be what you want. If this happens, you can calmly explain to the person that you’re not looking for solutions, but if you require support you’ll ask for it.
If you’re flying with someone, you may want to set out
- What you feel comfortable with them doing
- What you don’t feel comfortable with them doing
- What support you may need
If you haven’t already done so, download our Calm Flight Toolkit and share with your travel companion. This will provide some clarity on fear of flying and some supportive techniques that you can both use on the ground and in the air.
You’ll find a range of articles to share with your friend or family member on our Help Desk. They may help your friend or family member understand the thoughts and feelings you may have.
Please share this article with anyone who might benefit from it.
FAQs
Yes, fear of flying (aviophobia) is really common. It’s estimated that up to 40% of people have some sort of nervousness or fear of flying, although this can differ from nervousness to a full-blown phobia. The truth is that there’s a high chance the person you want to talk with may also be a nervous flyer!
It is a good idea to chat with your travel companion a few days or weeks before your trip (if you’re flying with them). When you share your fear is up to you, but we recommend finding a safe and relaxing place where you feel comfortable talking.
We always believe that honesty is the best policy and that admitting you have a fear of flying – and are working on it – isn’t a show of weakness, but one of strength. Explain to the person that you want them to listen but not provide solutions, answers or attempts at reassurance.. If you are flying together, you can tell the what help you want and what you don’t want.