In brief
- Fear of flying can stem from a perceived loss of control
- Recognising a loss of control as a cause of anxiety is powerful in helping you break the cycle
- There are practical ways that you can manage your in-flight anxiety
Why loss of control is at the heart of fear of flying
When we step on board a plane, we willingly give that control to people we’ve never met and a system that we don’t always understand. For many people, that loss of control is the trigger for fear and anxiety.
Scientists have helped us to learn more about the inner workings of anxiety. Research and studies have helped to reveal why control is so central, and how shifting perception (not reality) can make flying feel less threatening.
Here are some ways you can take back control of your feelings and calm your fear of flying.
Experiential avoidance: the trap of fleeing feelings
Anxiety escalates when we try to escape or suppress it. In a plane, there’s nowhere to go, and anxiety can go through the gears. It can manifest itself in irrational fears and intrusive thoughts.
This is known as experiential avoidance. It’s described by psychologists as an unwillingness to experience distressing thoughts, sensations, or memories. The problem is that the more we try to resist anxiety, the stronger it becomes.
Avoiding flights entirely may provide temporary relief, but it also reinforces a belief that you can’t cope. This can cement the fear, making the habit harder to break.
Psychologists now advocate acceptance-based strategies. Instead of trying to ignore anxiety, they encourage people to allow their anxiety to exist, without letting it dictate behaviour.
This doesn’t mean enjoying the discomfort. Instead, it’s about acknowledging anxiety as temporary and survivable.
Interoceptive exposure: befriending your symptoms
One powerful CBT technique is interoceptive exposure As strange as it sounds, this involves intentionally triggering anxiety-like symptoms in a safe environment.
This might involve watching takeoff, landing, and turbulence videos online. Or you can get creative. This might include spinning in a chair to mimic dizziness, or hyperventilating slightly to reproduce shortness of breath.
The goal of this is to teach your brain that these sensations, though uncomfortable, aren’t dangerous.
Over time, this can reduce the fear response. It can work too, and not just in a therapy room but on the plane.
Again, it’s all about adaptation to anxiety. You learn that you can feel anxious and still function, fly, and arrive safely.
Paradoxical intention: inviting the fear in
A more philosophical technique, developed by Viktor Frankl, is called paradoxical intention.
Instead of trying (and failing) to suppress the anxiety, you deliberately wish for it.
When turbulence hits, you don’t cling to the armrest. You face it head-on and say: “Bring it on.”
The concept is that you’re reframing your relationship with fear.
This works by removing the internal struggle you’re feeling. It works by reducing the tension between what is happening and what you wish were happening. Instead of resisting the anxiety, you coexist with it and even welcome it.
The technique isn’t widely used for flight phobia, but it can be helpful when other methods fail. If you like anxiety is creeping in, no matter what you try, feel the bumps and don’t fear them.
Locus of control: internal vs. external
People with an external locus of control tend to feel that outside forces dictate their lives. They believe in things like luck, fate, and the impact of other people.
Those with an internal locus of control believe that they influence their outcomes.
Flight anxiety often stems from the perception that you are at the mercy of external events. You’re stuck in a tube and are at the mercy of pilots, weather, technology.
Instead of focusing on those things you can’t impact, reframe your perspective on your internal coping capacity. This means focusing on those things that you can control, like your breathing and thoughts.
It’s also about focusing your attention on things that reduce anxiety (like reading a book or watching a film), not increase it (like looking out of the window or staring off into space).
Even if you can’t change the turbulence, you can stop your mind from interpreting it as danger.
Refocus your mind, reframe your fears
Flying means giving up control. You can try and regain control in some way (by checking turbulence forecasts, for example) but this is a false sense of control.
Instead of avoiding the causes of anxiety, sometimes it might be better to embrace it. Try these techniques to refocus your mind in a more positive direction.
You can download our Calm Flight Toolkit as a portable passport to in-flight relaxation. You can also check out guides on our Help Desk.
Please share this article with anyone who might benefit from it.
FAQs
Fear of flying is often caused by someone feeling like they have lost control. When you board a plane, you give control to pilots, technology and systems you don’t fully understand. This can trigger anxiety because the brain interprets this loss of control as potential danger. Understanding that loss of control is a cause of anxiety can help you find ways to deal with it, including accepting anxiety as part of the flight experience.
Feeling trapped on a plane can make flying anxiety much more intense. Instead of trying to suppress anxious thoughts you can use acceptance-based strategies. Techniques such as controlled breathing and reframing your thoughts can help you manage in-flight anxiety. You’ll need to set realistic goals. You won’t be able to eliminate fear instantly, but to understand that it’s part of the flight experience and is manageable.
Again, you may never be able to truly eliminate your fear of flying and may always have come anxiety. Breathing exercises, grounding techniques and mindfulness can all help you to restore some calm. Understanding what causes your fears and accepting the legitimacy of your feelings can help, too. Sometimes, self-help isn’t enough and you may need to get some professional support to help you. If it gets you on a plane, it’s worth it.