Learning to accept anxiety while flying

In brief

• Accepting anxiety is a potential strategy for nervous flyers to deal with specific stressful aspects of flight
• By understanding and accepting that anxiety is part of the flight experience, you can plan and prepare for it
• There are practical tools you can use to identify anxiety triggers and tackle them

Why accepting anxiety can help fearful flyers

If you’re a fearful flyer, anxiety is a part of the flight experience. It can start months before a flight and continue through the whole experience, from boarding and takeoff to landing. 

Many of us attempt to ignore pre-flight anxiety, through distraction, grounding, breathing techniques and mindfulness. Some people choose to deal with anxiety by drinking alcohol. 

One technique you can try is to sit with anxiety. Instead of ignoring it or attempting to rationalise it, you sit back and embrace the experience. It may sound counterintuitive, but giving in to anxiety can help your body relax and ride the wave. 

Here are some ways you can learn to accept anxiety and live with it, especially while you fly.

Why avoiding anxiety doesn’t always work

Avoiding things that make us feel anxious just sounds like common sense. But, when it comes to something like flying, avoiding it can lead to a loss of opportunities. 

Avoiding flying for long periods can embed the fear of flying, making the habit even harder to break, say experts.

The truth is that while avoidance can give temporary relief, it can strengthen anxiety in the long term – making it even harder to fly in the future.

The clinical term for this is a reinforcement loop. When you avoid something that generates anxiety, your brain learns that avoidance keeps you safe. The next time you want to fly, the anxiety is stronger – as is the urge to avoid it. 

By trying to suppress, ignore or drown out anxiety (with distractions and alcohol), you could be making a fear of flying worse. Accepting anxiety can hep teach your brain that flying is safe.

This doesn’t mean you’ll love flying or even enjoy it (you may never get this far), but it’s something you can cope with and that starts by accepting anxiety.

How accepting anxiety can help fearful flyers

Acceptance is about recognising that anxiety is a normal human biological response to a situation you find dangerous (even if flying isn’t dangerous). 

Instead of fighting your body, you can work with it. Psychologists call this Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which has been shown to help many people manage anxiety. 

A growing amount of evidence shows that allowing emotions to exist without resistance can reduce their intensity over time. To put it in simpler terms, the more you accept your anxiety, the less power it holds over you.

This video provides a great (if fairly long!) introduction and explanation of ACTs.

Acceptance is about tuning into your body. It involves noticing the sensations of anxiety, accepting them and working through them. Here are some practical ways you can do that.

Practical tips for accepting anxiety while flying

Accepting anxiety is a skill that you can develop with practice and patience. Don’t start on the plane, work on this in the weeks and months before a flight to prepare yourself.

Here are some evidence-based ways you can begin. You’ll find what works for you:

Notice your triggers

Anxiety isn’t a constant, instead it peaks at certain stages. You may be triggered by booking the flight, packing a case, boarding the plane, or when you experience turbulence. 

Understanding what triggers anxiety is the first step to tackling it. If you notice your anxiety spikes during turbulence, you can plan and prepare. When it happens, you can say to yourself: “This is my anxiety spiking. I’m going to be fine.”

Try to separate facts from feelings

Anxiety isn’t rational, but you can use the logical part of your brain to combat the instinctual part. Anxiety around flying happens when your brain becomes confused about what feels dangerous and what is dangerous. 

Flying is incredibly safe, as the aviation stats show. Planes are designed to soar above the earth, effortlessly crossing continents in hours, not the weeks or months it would previously take us.

Use your body as an anchor.

If anxiety begins to take over your mind, focusing on physical sensations can provide a good counterbalance. 

Try this: Press your feet into the floor, scrunch up your toes, or have an ice cold drink and notice how it feels. These grounding techniques help to bring you out of potentially catastrophic thinking to the present, which isn’t dangerous.

Create a comfort plan

If you know you’ll feel anxiety while flying, then plan for it – don’t ignore it. Start by picking a suitable seat. Pack a personal comfort kit. Plan if you want to tell cabin crew you’re a nervous flyer. Download our Calm Flight Toolkit.

Planning and preparing for anxiety helps to put you in the best frame of mind to deal with it. You’re embracing anxiety and ensuring you’re ready.

Avoid using alcohol as a coping tool

Some people find alcohol can provide a temporary boost to confidence, but over time, it can worsen anxiety once its effects wear off. Instead, focus on treating your body well, enjoying healthy foods and moving as much as you can. 

You’ll find that managing anxiety without alcohol leads to greater long-term confidence, because you’ve done it all yourself.

When to seek professional help

If your fear of flying feels overwhelming there is help available. You can speak to a qualified doctor or professional therapist. They can help you develop a plan to tackle your fear and regain your calm. That could include CBT therapy or other solutions. 

Never be afraid to seek help if your phobia is taking over your life and limiting opportunities.

Try accepting anxiety (but have alternative approaches ready!)

Accepting anxiety is a bold strategy that aims to give you back control. Instead of ignoring the fear or attempting to avoid it, you understand it’s part of the flying experience for you and, more importantly, are making a plan to deal with it.

Every time you safely experience flight, you’re training your brain that it’s safe. Over time, this can give you more confidence.

Of course, you should also still pack an in-flight comfort kit, practice breathing exercises, grounding and mindfulness. But these can be used when you need them. 

For more reassurance and in-flight support download the free Calm Flight Toolkit and visit our Help Desk.

Please share this article with anyone who might benefit from it.

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